Dreaming Of Being A Real Self?

Sometimes there may be a dream of being a “you”, that may seem to appear from nowhere, though this you is never actually seen but firmly believes itself to be real, who is secretly seeking recognition and validation from the world, which it does not feel it deserves happiness from, to make itself whole. As if some magical moment will occur when it will be seen, recognised and validated and held, and this is some kind of currency of love that can be owned and will fill the gap of lack.

Or sometimes there may be a dream of being a “you” that may seem to appear from nowhere, though this you is never actually seen but firmly believes itself to be real, who is seeking some insight or information that feels like something substantial from which it can achieve peace for its weary mind.

Or sometimes there may be a dream of being a “you” that may seem to appear from nowhere, though this you is never actually seen but firmly believes itself to be real, and who is secretly frightened that it is not as capable or as good as others and is full of doubt in itself and the world, consistently comparing and competing with other selves it feels are better selves than it. Secretly imagining that somewhere hidden in the minds and bodies all around it are other “you’s” that are more complete, more capable, and somehow more deserving than itself.

And perhaps then there is also the longing from within this dream for the wholeness that seems to be lost, and there is the questioning of the reality of this dream, questioning its own reality, trying in some way to wake itself up from the dream, but at the same time holding the thought that it is still real and this is not a dream.

And then there is simply what is, the timeless and spaceless now, free of the dream of “you”. How the dream ended is not clear but it did and suddenly it is truly seen as a dream and not real. What some may describe as the beingness of awareness itself, though here no final position is taken, and there remains simply the imminent immediacy of what is, illusively appearing in all forms, not two and separate, excluding nothing and including everything. And as this totality, the wholeness and aliveness of what is, as appearances of no-thing come and go, no-thing no-thinging, there is no attachment to specific outcomes as there was in the dream, for wholeness no longer depends on them.

And from the clarity and wholeness of this, the dream of being a separate you is seen for what it is, simply a dream that no longer holds power and was never really there at all. A dream that seems to appear from nowhere and disappears into nowhere, and unquestioningly believes that it is a real self that knows itself as a separate conscious agent occupying somewhere within the mortal flesh and bones of the body, separate from the world. And in this clarity, the dream is revealed as never having had the solidity it claimed.

With love,

Freyja

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Other ways to engage:

My books “The Quiet Confidence Of Not Being Anyone” and “Naturally Appearing” are available here:

https://amzn.eu/d/0ibn1Awc

I also host a monthly group dialogue space for open questions and shared exploration around nonduality. Details can be found via the link at the top of this Substack or at:

www.naturallybeing.one

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https://buymeacoffee.com/freyjatheaker

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A gentle note:

Nonduality is not psychotherapy and is not concerned with resolving psychological distress, nor does it reject it.

For some, engaging with this message can feel destabilising, as familiar reference points may seem to fall away. This is not unusual and often passes. However, if this feels overwhelming or ongoing, it may be supportive to pause and reach out to a trusted source of support, including a qualified professional.

Please take care of your wellbeing.