The Only Qualification That Really Matters Is Authentic Inner Peace.
As a child, I was terrified of school. There was so much introversion and shyness. Navigating the school playground felt like a trial. I never felt safe. The whole notion of the school took on some oppressive authoritarianism that I somehow felt I must, should, have to put up with, learn to enjoy and be grateful for. I in no way wish to imply my school was a bad place or that the teachers and pupils were not beautiful; on the contrary, it was a beautiful school, and the teachers were, on the whole, lovely. But none of that could take away the very notion that I had to get used, learn to live with what felt like some oppressive authority that I must obey and go along with the idea that the qualifications it was teaching me were a road to my happiness.
Perhaps that's why, years later, I fell passionately in Love with the music of Pink Floyd and their anthem, "We don't need no education - we don't need no thought control", spoke to that childhood trauma pattern that still felt angry at what she felt had been imposed on her. Perhaps that is why, in spite of my intense intellectual curiosity and Love for learning, I became so disillusioned with the examination system of school and, as a teenager, dropped out of academic pressure by avoiding it.
Some form of psychological pattern was laid down in childhood, perhaps as a result of a brain that found it hard to read the social context, that found social groups overwhelming, and that was partial "context blindness”, and that felt fearful of its social environment, cynical of its intentions, and also privately guilty and ashamed that it could not live up to the expectations of the society that surrounded it.
Perhaps that's why, at the age of 19, I gripped onto the teachings of non-duality I found in the form of Buddhism as a secret way out of avoiding the pain of this deep psychological split between what I understood then was a little old "me" and a world that seemed an endless test of the fundamentally flawed me. On the surface, I continued to perform and act as if everything was OK, and to some extent, this worked. Still, it was not till years later that I found the means to fully embrace this childhood experience through some path of trial and error that sought an answer to this conundrum. But, whatever my avoidant intentions to egoically use the teaching of oneness, eventually, their transformative power to bring about an integration, was more significant.
Years later, when an awakening opened, the realisation of the experience of not being the feelings and thoughts of the mind and body, the path to embracing these childhood experiences, so they were, so to speak, brought in from the psychic cold, naturally occurred. As I experienced the true, ultimately safe inner refuge, as the teacher Tara Brach calls it, of what was, in fact, always present of “my” essential nature, but until then not fully understood, I could welcome these experiences not as a problem to be solved but as a valuable experience as part of the rich tapestry of life. To see that there was nothing wrong with the environment and nothing wrong with me but that this was all part of life's flow and there was strength to be found in all these experiences.
For all the qualifications I obtained from school and subsequently professionally, they pale into insignificance in the face of the only qualification that genuinely matters, which is the authentic experience of inner peace. We all carry our scars and marks from childhood, and yet, those scars can become transformed into strength as we are able to embrace them as a parent embraces their child. From here, the pretence and people-pleasing can stop as childhood strategies for trying to stay safe and the natural authenticity of character can come forth.
Why is human life the way it is? Can we teach this inner peace, or is it something that finds itself? I suspect the latter is the case, but it’s helpful to hear teachings and the experiences of other minds that point to it. The deep desire in all minds is to find their home of inner peace and be the loving parent of our mind and body, which are our beautiful vehicles in this world. Finding that we can, at last, enjoy the world as a flow of our being, and paradoxically, in feeling this way, we see the strength that shines and overcomes the darkest of circumstances where necessary, protecting our lives from toxicity and turning what had seemed poison into medicine for our mind and body.
I have found some things helpful from this experience that perhaps could be useful pointers to your mind, too and that are at the heart of what is shared in The Universal Family. The desire now is to spread this vital qualification that all minds need to find their home of inner peace. The best way I have found is through friendship and building trust, and if you would like to arrange a Zoom call to meet to that end, that is always welcome. And it will be a great pleasure to meet you. Bonds of friendship and trust are what really matter when it comes to sharing the only qualification that really matters – inner peace.
With Love,
Freyja