Welcoming The Opportunity Of Unpleasant Emotions

Emotional resistance has arisen because something is believed to be outside and separate — a threat, something to change before happiness can return. Assuming there is nothing obviously physically occurring then the cause is a case of psychological misidentification.

We can see this, for when unpleasant emotions arise, they are often wrapped in narrative — the story of a notional separate self: thoughts about why they’re here, what they mean, who’s to blame, or how to escape them. These stories feed resistance and keep the emotional energy trapped in mental loops.

Through investigation we can verify that we have no experiential evidence of such a separate self, and the mind has no convincing evidence the awareness we are is dependent on it and therefore cannot know or define it at all.

The body–mind is part of an integrated system that includes its environment. It is an energetic system that is highly sensitive to threat, and to its needs for psychological and physical nourishment. It easily picks up psychological discomfort from its social environment. It is not an isolated system.

It has its own innate guidance system that orientates it to maintain physical and psychological comfort and integrity. The body communicates its balance through sensations that the mind recognises as painful or pleasurable, and through practical thoughts that appear in the mind to guide the body towards healthy nourishment and away from danger.

This survival guidance system is a limited reflection of the qualities of its conscious source. Its capacities include feeling connection with its environment through energy, empathy and touch (love); perceiving and recognising form (beauty); and responding with multiple layers of lower and higher-order intelligence to its circumstances (understanding). It works optimally when this guidance is allowed to flow without psychological resistance. So it is in the interests of the body to resolve such psychological resistance.

We can observe that the cause of the resistance itself stems from a deep, hidden assumption: that the sensations of the body are saying something about us — as if we were this limited sensation, and a problem to manage or avoid.

But the sensation is not us. It is arising within the wholeness of our aware being, a movement of love within your beingness. It’s vital to see this clearly if this misidentification is to be overcome. At this point we can return to the freedom of the not knowing of our true nature. No longer limiting it to this sensation as if it were this.

So if unpleasant emotion arises, it’s an important opportunity to do this. And it is important to clearly see this root — and worth taking time to verify it. For this clarity will make resolving unpleasant emotions in the future easier.

When this happens, instead of following the mind’s emotional narrative and resistance, become aware of the felt sense of the body — noting the somatic aspects of this, rather than the emotional narrative in the mind.

Imagine you are describing the experience to a sensitive and curious medical practitioner, someone who wants to know exactly what this sensation feels like in the most physical, not psychological, terms.

Begin to describe the sensation with great precision. Observe its location — where exactly is it in the body? Size — is it small and pinprick-like, or does it spread across a wide area? Shape — does it have an edge? Is it circular, sharp, cloud-like, irregular? Temperature — is it warm, cool, hot, or fluctuating? Texture — is it rough, smooth, buzzing, prickly, dense, airy? Weight — does it feel heavy, light, pressurised, or weightless? Movement — is it still, vibrating, pulsing, swirling, or shifting? Tension — is there contraction, tightness, gripping, or a sense of openness? Intensity — is it mild, moderate, or overwhelming? Does it stay steady or change? Depth — is it on the surface of the body or deep inside?

As you stay with the sensations in this way, welcoming them with the infinite patience of a mother for a crying child, and with no expectation of them changing, something tender begins to unfold.

Free of unpleasant psychological resistance, there is something almost pleasant at this level about the sensation (assuming it is not consistently physically painful, in which case this would highlight some kind of survival issue).

Often, our misidentification with sensations begins with a beguiling pleasantness, as we so deeply love the felt sense of being. But here we may fall into misidentification — believing we are the sensation, rather than seeing that the sensation is a form of us, a movement within the deeper field of beingness, not the source itself.

However, free of psychological pressure, it is more easily noticed that this sensation is being observed — and it becomes clear you are the observer, not the sensation. At this point, misidentification ceases, and the sensation is seen clearly for what it is — a sensation free of emotional narrative that personalises it. The sensation is clearly seen as a form of the loving beingness you are, and you are not it.

Even at times when there is no immediate emotional resistance it can be an option, if desired, to proactively examine the patterns of sensations in the body calmly to assess if this misidentification is taking place and clearly establish the distinction between you, the observer and them the form.

This gentle, loving attention allows the sensation to evolve in its own time, rather than being buried in psychological resistance. The sensation is not a problem to be solved or bypassed. It is a vital messenger, an opportunity to consolidate understanding, holding essential information. It may even begin to speak of its underlying needs and injuries, just as a child reveals their pain only when they feel truly safe. The body mind is its own memory system and such things may or may not come to light.

This process may require many repetitions. That is natural. Do not be in even the tiniest hurry, as if life will begin again only once this is gone. Life is not waiting. It is happening through this, now.

Each time we go through this, there is more clarity emerging, and the body–mind expresses its needs more authentically.

With love,

Freyja